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  • Woody Allen aka Sheila Bowie Aka Betta Lemme

Update 1: Extremist Easter Excursions

Hello You! Press play and start reading!

What's happening in this photo? Oh you know, just creeping by a bunch of extremists. What else is there to do on Easter Sunday? Fun facts for everyone, according to these gentlemen: "Jesus was a negro. (Agreed) When will the white man suffer? (Does this exclude women?) The world will end by fire (yeah... maybe if I walk around the streets in a bikini) and the white man will no longer rule. Also, pork is a sin." (I agree, with the exception of bacon, salami and anything else delicious).

I made my way towards a Flea Market when I laid eyes on these three delicious finds: (See below)

All I could think was "Who died in these coats? How many hookers did they own?" and "How much for the one on the right?" Shoutout to everyone who enjoyed the film 'Behind the Candelabra' and can look behind the cruelty and appreciate Michael Douglas looking like Valentino in his fur.

With everyone visiting their families this weekend, I was left to do the usual and explore this concrete jungle.

Apart from my curiosity of wanting to engage angry protesting individuals, I had the pleasure of discovering the most incredible Whole Foods Market in the Upper West side! In a nutshell, like most Whole Foods, it was OCD Heaven. Every fruit was well polished and perfectly presented, just the way I like. (Total pun alert). No wonder I always feel so relaxed in there...

After a week of running around, like most rational individuals, I just wanted to shop for food, head home to eat cake in bed while watching 30Rock. Know the feeling? Needless to say, it didn't happen and I settled for a cup of noodles instead. Run Betta, RUN! The faster you get home, the faster you can pass out to Alex Baldwin's smokey voice. Moving on...

Without a doubt the best discovery that took place today was walking all the way back home and realizing I had locked myself out of my apartment. I'm going to blatently blame this rare act of ditzyness on my new blonde highlights from NYC'S Wonderland Beauty Parlor. Thanks to my friends at Sambazon, I was able to wait in the hallway cradelling my favourite Acai juice, pretending I was back in Miami. There you have it, Folks. A day in the life. Happy Easter! Much love, B. #adventuresofbetta👌

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