Here’s the story: As you all know, I had rented a saxophone my first week in NYC. I’ve never played it before and figured it could be a great learning experience, not to mention a one-up on the badass scale. My first session consisted of me fumbling around with the pieces. “Is this where it goes? Wait! Ugh I forgot to lubricate the tip… of the cork!” (Stop being such a creep. Yeah YOU!) “I won’t be able to reach peak sounds if it isn’t tight enough.” After becoming somewhat familiar with which buttons to press, I began to feel more comfortable with exploring different finger combinations. Once I had a bit of a scale going, I wanted to appreciate the moment and set the mood. Picture me running out to the elevator with a shiny gold sax attached to my neck. To those of you who are familiar with this instrument, I adjusted the neck so tight that the mouthpiece nearly knocked out my front teeth. Moving on! The elevator doors open and I hit ‘R’. Rooftop Sax performance? Kenny G would've been so proud. I get to the roof, position myself to create the sounds I let out just moments before. Suddenly, the notes turn into flat sounds of flatulence. This really caught me off guard as just minutes ago, I felt we were going somewhere magical. I pressed the same buttons, I relaxed my jaw. It seemed as though the moment had just passed. I told myself “These things happen to everyone... right? We’ll try again soon.”
Days later, I mustered up the courage for another sax date. Things were looking up and I began to play some songs when it finally hit me: This musical reltionship has got to end. I realized it was never going to work out between the sax and I as playing so passionately indoors would always disturb my neighbours. I can't move apartments for minutes of pleasure?! Can I? NO. The time has come to call it quits. It is with great sadness that I announce the return of my saxophone this afternoon. I am open to new suggestions and musical referrals but think it would be best to stay away from wind instruments for now. (Makes the breakup a little easier…)
It looks like that's the end of my sax life for the time being. I don't want to harp, I no longer yearn for sax and am begining to realize that i'm all about that bass. Yeah, I went there.
PS: If you scroll way way way way down, you'll see a pretty epic selfie I took this moring. You're welcome.